Truth never lies.

I don't really know how many people are reading this, But does anyone really know how it feels like to be hurt? To be avoided and to know that you are doing nothing wrong according to your own conscious? I do.
Deep inside my heart i regretted. My head told me there was something wrong here. "You shouldn't have been that rude! What if the same hath occurred to you?" I was slightly disturbed from then on, and that still continues. From the moment the incident triggered, something just kept punching me in.. making me feel bad. An apology might have been accepted, but what has disturbed a heart, causes a trace, and THAT can never be forgotten.
This is about a friend. A real close one. Just 7 months into knowing her, i felt i had the friendship of a life time. It began from a confused, silent exchange of i pod ear phones and then to smiles and laughs. Fights did occur. And this is one of it.

I simply happened to feel like a loser all over again. When the so called friends can talk everything about you, why not the rest of the losers, who think you are one of them, and of whom YOU and THOSE group of friends have laughed about only because they are all the same? I felt hurt to know exactly how many of them would be laughing behind my back, let alone talking about it. A family astrologer had once told my mom that i would be ruined by depression and that would be because of my friends. That day, I had the laugh of my life! I laughed and did nothing more. My family never triggered off that emotional support, it was always my friends.. But all of a sudden...
Another close confidante apparently told me, I was way to frank and self confident, which he loved, but thought, might as well hurt the rest. I thought with all my mind and decided with all my heart that i should control emotions, but because i thought friends were my everything, i tend to speak that way.
One view I have on everything is that, "What's yours will come right back to you, and if not, it's just not yours, so keep away" And "Everything happens for ones own good." These aspects which confused me, but comforted me at all times, suddenly left me feeling insecure. It made me say it's meaningless to be meaningful to people i care for the most, as they will, no matter what end disliking you at some point of time, and THAT will turn right against you.
What if i erred and am not perfect? Am i not human? What if i didn't swing like a pendulum with the world's views, don't i have an opinion? Can't i be original? It was at the point when i wanted to give a war cry that the golden moment turned.
It said.. "Listen my child, look into your heart, What do you see?" "I see anger, frustration, agitation!" I screamed. "Look into your mind, what do you see?" Came back the immediate response. "Nothing but problems and dissatisfaction." I retorted. "It's okay, do what you think is right. You don't have to be someone else just to please someone." "But how do you know i'm not my own self??" "That's because i created you my child." "But..but.." "It's okay.. I made everyone different. It will come back not if you need it or want it, but only if it's meant for you. So patience is a virtue." "But..I.." "Be yourself and stand by what you are. If YOUR people like you for what you are and not what you pretend to be, then they are yours." The voice vanished.. It was the truth being truthful to comfort me.
I felt rejuvenated. It's now or never i thought. I tried my best to get back what i had.. But realised the words.. "It will come back if it's meant for you."
There it goes. Another piece of scrap to fill the blog, because the traces in the heart take a long time to heal if they are way too unpleasant or way too joyous.. And this one's.....